Rumour Mill: coming to a pitch near you...

Saints set to sign Pele!
With Saints desperate for goals, Sky Sports reports that Saints have won the race to sign no less a name than Pele. If Teddy Sheringham can keep going at age 39, then surely the greatest player of the last century can provide the missing link for Saints up front. However, due to an administrative mix up it looks like Saints will in fact be signing highly rated Portugese defender with the famous name for £1.35m. At just 19, at with several Premiership sides showing an interest in him, this will represent a coup for Saints.
4/5 Official site

Robert Earnshaw
Defenders, midfielders, where are the strikers we so clearly need? Step forward one Robert Earnshaw with Saints keen to bring the Welsh international to St. Mary's, possibly as part of an exchange for Nigel Quashie. With the player wanting to leave, but also to remain in the Premiership, this move could depend on which other offers come in for a player who has been a prolific marksman in this league. Could go down to the wire.
3/5 Broadsheet

Tomasz Radkinski
A Canadian international born in Poland certainly has the right CV to join Saints. He has done well against us for both Everton and Fulham, although doesn't have the greatest goal-scoring record in England. However, he was prolific with Anderlecht, scoring 57 goals in 90 appearances, and should do well in the Championship.
1/5 Tabloid Some bloke down the pub

Shimon Gershon
Israeli international Gershon is an experienced and commanding central defender and has expressed his desire to move to Saints. Burley however is keen to see him in the flesh (as it were), but with his club unwilling to allow him to have a trial with Saints, and with a work permit required, this move could well fall through.
4/5 Official site

Guide to On the Cross ratings:
0/5 Men in white coats time
1/5 Some bloke down the pub
2/5 Tabloid
3/5 Broadsheet
4/5 Official site
5/5 Holding up a shirt